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The Reproductive Story Project
Read a Story About the Project

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Young and Healthy - and Infertile

As a teenager and in my early teens, I was always very focused on my studies and then my career - and marriage and kids just wasn't something I thought I was interested in. After I met my husband and got married at 25, my priorities changed somewhat - but I was still very content with going to grad school and working, and never really felt the longing for children.

Then, last year, our good friends and neighbors had their twins. As I was holding one of their newborn daughters in my arms, all of a sudden it became crystal-clear. "What are you wasting your life with? This is what you were meant for!" And after never really having a strong sense of wanting to be a mom, it caught up to me with overwhelming intensity!

I never started ovulating again after I went off the pill, and since I
wasn't getting my periods, we were referred to an infertility doc later in the year, even though we hadn't tried for 12 months yet. After our first consultation, we were encouraged, it seems as all we needed to do was get me on the right kind of meds to start ovulating. Then, what was supposed to be a routine check-up of my husband's revealed a whole variety of problems on his side, aside from me (still) not ovulating.

So here we are, on our first round of Clomid and not too hopeful ...
and although it would seem that our own story with infertility has been a relatively short one so far, we are completed exhausted, depressed, and overwhelmed.

I so resonated with your description of infertility [in Unsung Lullabies] as being a trauma - that is what it has been for me. I'm still in shock that this is happening to me, a healthy 28 year-old who works out often and eats well. I guess I never knew how much I wanted to be a mom, and that somehow I always assumed that I would one day - and now that this might not happen, I feel without sense and purpose.

Thank you again for your wonderful book, it has been one of the few sources of real and deep encouragement and support for me.
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— Esther D

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