Center for Reproductive PsychologyHome PageCenter for Reproductive Psychology Home Page
  » Home    » The Reproductive Story Project  
The Reproductive Story Project
Read a Story About the Project

[ 1 ]  [ 2 ]  [ 3 ]  [ 4 ]  [ 5 ]  [ 6 ]  [ 7 ]  [ 8 ]  [ 9 ]  [ 10 ]  [ 11 ]  [ 12 ]  [ 13 ]  [ 14 ]  [ 15 ]  [ 16 ]  

A Guy's Point of View

I honestly didn’t think about having children a lot while growing up. I definitely had a good childhood and felt loved and appreciated by my parents, but I think overall it sort of scared me to be a parent. I think that when my wife and I started dating we sort of assumed we would have kids, but we didn’t have a lot of discussion about it, at least early on (not that I remember at least). Eventually we decided to wait five years then start trying. We kept saying “next year” for a while and before we knew it, it was 8 plus years and no kids. I believe we started getting more serious about starting our family (besides our dog, of course) and then my wife’s dad got sick and we really started trying.

I think deep down I always wanted to be a father and to pass along things like my parents did to me. But the idea also was a bit scary, not to mention the loss of freedom and crying and all those things. I never doubted the joy of being a parent, but was freaked out by the pitfalls, potential failures, and when they became teenagers!

I never really had a real strong “reproductive story”, but the story I’m living now is certainly not the one I was hoping for or ever imagined. I never even thought of having any complications, ever. When it wasn’t happening at first I just figured it was timing and that we were under a lot of stress. No matter what the final diagnosis is for us I’m not very happy. I’m unhappy for myself, but I’m probably more unhappy for us as a unit. I deal with things and accept things and try to go about my daily life the best I can. For the most part I can operate with out much mental interference (I think that’s a nicer way of describing denial, or ignoring), but I see how it really affects my wife in more tangible ways and that hurts me a lot. I think in general I find myself quicker to get angry at smaller things (something my Dad was always good at) because of what we’re dealing with right now. And even though there are millions of other people out there that have way worse problems than us, it still does not seem fair. I’d love to have something or someone to blame, even though it appears that there really isn’t much we could have done to prevent this. Do I blame myself? Do I blame God? Do I blame my Mom for some dumb drugs? Does God blame me for not being as close to him? Or cause I didn’t’ tithe? Doesn’t seem right to me. People who don’t’ “deserve” kids get them all the time, but so do people who DO deserve them. There is not true justice. Just like we have to die to make life meaningful, I guess we need injustice to make the afterlife worth living for to see justice (and judgment) for all. I hope this story has a happy ending (I think it does) because we need it.

— Matt E

[ 1 ]  [ 2 ]  [ 3 ]  [ 4 ]  [ 5 ]  [ 6 ]  [ 7 ]  [ 8 ]  [ 9 ]  [ 10 ]  [ 11 ]  [ 12 ]  [ 13 ]  [ 14 ]  [ 15 ]  [ 16 ]  

  • About the Reproductive Story Project
  •